It’s surprising how the value of your “once upon a time” favorite day diminishes gradually as you grow older! When I was a child I used to literally count the days and frantically wait for my birthday and finally when it arrived I would be ecstatic and never wanted it to end. Early in the crack of dawn my brother and sisters would wake me up to their quirky little gifts which were priceless when I think about it now and my darling mother would cook my favorite dishes and even if I would break the rules or be naughty it would be overlooked. Life used to be so simple and beautiful back then when the most difficult decision I had to make was whether to dress my Barbie in red or white.
As a child, birthdays used to be all about the gifts, cake and special treatment, when we are in our teens and early twenties it’s about partying with friends and getting wasted and once we cross our mid twenties it’s more about discovering ourselves, self reflection and looking back at how much we have been able to achieve or have lost. Besides that the POA is also created to make the most of what we have, using the available resources and also for the damage control for things we did as rash young, wild and free amateurs. Birthdays are no longer looked forward, in a perfect world we would procrastinate it if only the hands of time were under our control…
Likewise, the 3rd of September is my “Special day” which I recently celebrated. The process of discovering more about oneself as time passes is the fact that I find most amusing and at the same time exciting. After every discovery we happily feel we know who we are now but it’s funny how we surprise ourselves time and again and now I have come to peace with the fact that life is nothing but a journey of self discovery. I have also realized that I have changed so much compared to who I was couple of years back, I feel more mature and wiser (but less innocent and naïve 😛 ) thanks to the knowledge I have gained from various sources or through personal experiences (some good, some bad, some crazy) and I know I have more to learn and experience which keeps me on my toes.
Additionally, the recent Earth Quake also helped me realize the unpredictability of life (Read here). I comprehended that I needed to stop cribbing and cherish the present, it’s pretty challenging sometimes as it’s always easier said than done! However, I’m trying and I don’t claim to have become a reckless and happy person living ONLY in the present but yes I’m trying and it may take a while to proclaim proudly that I have done all I wanted to in life. Nonetheless, I have started my journey with some baby steps and I’m pretty proud for not being lazy and taking an initiative! I mentioned in my previous post that I have enrolled for some classes and I’m learning some skills that I always wanted to master but never was enthusiastic enough to take out some time. Well, I feel pleased to share with you guys that I got my driver’s license and can freely and confidently drive around now; I learnt swimming (I know it’s a shame I didn’t know it till now :p ), I joined yoga classes and I’m crazy about it and I can’t imagine my life without it now, I will be writing about it soon and lastly but not the least my love for music has always been there and I used to sing in school but unfortunately I couldn’t devote time to it due to the demanding schedules and other priorities. It’s the second month of my vocal classes in Kathmandu Jazz Conservatory and its growing on me so much I intended to carry it forward. Sometimes I feel that 24 hours that we have in a day is not at all sufficient as there are so many things I want to do and I wish I had more time. Nevertheless, I’m very happy for my recent achievements and I know there are more things I want to learn and do in life and I’m looking forward to it 😀
Simultaneously, I’m also trying to be more accepting and less judgmental as I have come to accept the fact that there is not just Black and White, but now I strongly believe in the presence of the various shades of Grey too! I try and think twice before I judge someone or pass a comment as everyone has a story of their own and I myself am not proud of everything I have done in my life… I’m also trying to be more thankful for what I have which does get a little tricky sometimes but yes trying to appreciate the beautiful people and blessings I have in my life. Again, I don’t strive to become a “paragon of virtue” but I would want to try and be a better person.
The years I have lived so far has the amalgamation of everything good and bad but when I look back it’s weird but I only remember the happy and beautiful moments. Here’s a big thank you for all those beautiful souls who has made my journey larger than life and also for your best wishes, I hope it comes to you in ten folds. Looking forward with full anticipation to more people I will be meeting in my journey and the new things I’m yet to learn and experience and also to discovering myself further and aging gracefully rather than cribbing about growing old! In simple words looking forward to Living my life not just Existing!
XOXO Lots of love and best wishes!